As there has been a lot of talk about parenting styles in class recently, I thought I'd bring up multiple types of parenting styles, and their results. Source: http://discipline.about.com/od/typesofdiscipline/a/Types-Of-Discipline-Strategies-And-Parenting-Styles.htm
Authoritarian: The classic "Tiger Mom" type of parenting. Children are told the rules, and expected to follow them. There is no negotiating with the parent, and children are supposed to follow the rules without asking why. It ends up making the children develop self-esteem problems, and can make them bitter or angry at their parents for the punishments.
Authoritative: The best type of parenting. The parents will set the rule, but they will discuss the reasons with the children, and will allow some elasticity with the rules. Instead of just punishments or just rewards, they use a flexible system of consequences. This leads to the children being more successful and happy, as they have more responsibility and decision-making skills.
Permissive: The opposite of the "Tiger Mom". Parents do not have many punishments unless there is a real problem. Generally, they will give the children whatever they want, and their children will run the house. These children may have discipline problems as they are not used to following rules or other sorts of structures. They may be spoiled, and become selfish or narcissistic.
Uninvolved: A more neglectful approach to parenting. They do not meet the basic needs for their children, and expect them to fend for their own. This could be due to many factors like work, drugs, mental health issues, or even just a neglectful personality. These children tend to develop self-image problems, have issues with authority and academics, and tend to have a lower ranking in happiness.
Like another post earlier, I believe that a mix of authoritative and permissive parenting is ideal (for instance, allowing children to explore and make mistakes and learn from them) but not caving in to every demand laid by a parent. I agree with the consequences part of authoritative parenting, but maybe parents should give their children the benefit of the doubt and place trust in them to make the right decisions until they don't.
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ReplyDeleteInteresting. I think I'd agree that authoritative parenting is probably the most successful most of the time, however it depends on what one defines as success. For example, I think children with tougher parents such as the ones often stereotyped to be in Asia are more successful school-wise, and perhaps things are different over there. Maybe how well one does in school is all that matters for one's future in some countries, and in such cases an authoritarian type of parenting would be better suited. However, I agree that for most of us in our area authoritative is likely the best option.
ReplyDeleteI mostly agree with Kevin on a mix of authoritative and permissive parenting being the best option. However, I do think that the successfulness of a parenting style depends on the personality of the child. For example, a more naturally independent child, who may become resentful under an authoritative parenting style, would probably require a more permissive style of parenting. On the other hand, if a child needed a better sense of direction and help from their parents, a more authoritative parenting style would probably be best. Let me know if you think there are any other factors that are important when considering the best parenting style, I would be interested to hear them!
ReplyDeleteVery interesting arguments for the best type of parenting. Personally, I would have to agree with Jenny in that it depends on the child. However, I wanted to see what the rest of the internet thought was the best form or parenting. One source I looked at claimed that authoritative was the best because it was the right mix of accountability and emotion connection. Another source agreed with Jenny by saying that generally, authoritative parenting is successful, but it really depends on the child. I think if you ask 100 different people, you would get 100 different responses on what they though is the best style of parenting. The articles I looked are below if you want to check them out.
ReplyDeletehttp://psychology.about.com/od/developmentalpsychology/a/parenting-style.htm
http://theattachedfamily.com/?p=2151
Huh, this really gives me something to think about. When thinking about my own experience, I am not sure any parent is entirely one method. For instance, my mom is pretty on my back about school and colleges, but other than that I basically run my life and let her know what's going on. And my dad is extremely controlling about things like his house and what I wear, but not about school... Also it seems to me that certain children are just going to be a little better under pressure than others, so for them more authoritarian or authoritative parenting would be best, but what about those who might crumble under pressure? Man, this stuff gets complicated. I understand why parents say they wish we came with instructions...
ReplyDeleteHuh, this really gives me something to think about. When thinking about my own experience, I am not sure any parent is entirely one method. For instance, my mom is pretty on my back about school and colleges, but other than that I basically run my life and let her know what's going on. And my dad is extremely controlling about things like his house and what I wear, but not about school... Also it seems to me that certain children are just going to be a little better under pressure than others, so for them more authoritarian or authoritative parenting would be best, but what about those who might crumble under pressure? Man, this stuff gets complicated. I understand why parents say they wish we came with instructions...
ReplyDeleteI agree that Authoritative parenting is the best option of the four, but variations including the best of Authoritarian could help pave the way to your child's success. It really all depends on the personality and motivation of your child. If he or she is genuinely interested and motivated in their own education, one should lead more towards the Authoritative parenting style. But if your child lacks motivation, discipline may be one of the few options left. But nothing more than that should come from the Authoritarian parenting style. Their is a line between creating motivation to lead your child to success and absolutely crushing them with extreme academic goals.
ReplyDeleteAuthoritative parenting sounds great on paper, but does it really work out in reality? I doubt that a five year old will discuss breaking his/her younger sibling's toy with rationality. I can see that lots of patience on the parents' part throughout the years may build up trust and responsibility that could render this type of parenting effective, but like Max said, some authoritarian parenting is probably needed to be firm and guiding.
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